Meaningful Experiences.

The experiences of the last couple of weeks have been really interesting for me. It started when my brother-in-law's dad passed away. I have felt such horrible sadness and pain for Brian's loss (my brother-in-law). Then this week at work one of my girls has had a really really horrible situation to deal with. I came home from work last night feeling really overwhelmed. I have a tendency to experience emotion and not figure out for a while what it's really all about. (And sometimes I never do!) :) I hope some of you out there understand what I mean. Anyway, so I was feeling pretty down and just wondering a lot about my capabilities and so forth. I thought that maybe that was where my negative emotion was coming from--that I just must not be doing a very good job. And then I thought, am I ever really cut out to do any job well if I keep being overwhelmed by them?

Then the ah-hah moment hit. The Lord offered me a moment of tender mercy as the Spirit spoke to my heart. I realized that the emotion I was feeling really wasn't because I hated my job or felt like a loser. It was that I was seriously feeling pain and sadness for this birthmom having so much dumped on her all of the sudden, and the emotion that she was feeling. Then I realized this was happening on top of still feeling sadness for Brian. That was what was overwhelming--that I was feeling so much hurt for other people's situations. Then I realized this is what the Savior always feels. He always suffers when we suffer and feels our sadness. I feel like I've really been given an incredible opportunity to understand a little better who He is for us. That there was nothing I could do to change the situation because it involved someone else's agency. Just like He can't impose on someone's agency. But He walks beside us as we're affected by it, and knows our sorrows and pain and feels them with us. Except He fully understands, and I just got a glimpse into it. I am absolutely in awe that He feels that for us--that He loves us so much that He constantly walks with us and experiences those trials with us. I am so grateful for this experience that has helped me internalize way better that we truly are never alone in our trials--that the Savior is always there with us through them, feeling our agony and longing to make things better. I am grateful beyond words for His love and the strength He offers us when it's all we can do to call out for help.