New Format

I have been thinking a lot recently. :)

One of the things I have decided is that I'm going to change the format of my blog posts a bit to make this more of a true "online journal." Do not be scared, but you will get to see more into the inside of my brain. So here goes the first hit...

I travel a lot with my job, which gives me a lot of opportunity for "pondering." Last week I did 2 adoptive placements, one right after the other. As I was driving back from the 2nd one in Shreveport, LA on Saturday night, my heart was totally filled with some sort of positive emotion. Was it happiness? Gratitude? Amazement?

As I reflected deeper, I realized it was all of these things. I think that amazement is really the best word I could come up with to encompass all of these great feelings.

It really is amazing to me to walk side by side with people through their journey of placing their child for adoption. To learn their story and what has brought them to this point, to see their struggles as they wonder back and forth if this is really the right thing to do, and then to see them put all selfishishness aside and give their child the opportunity for life that their circumstances do not provide, even though they want so bad for those circumstances to be different, and then to struggle through the pain of loss in the days, weeks, months, and even years to follow, and to go forward from the experience so strong and courageous and wise...

Then to see another family's loss close just a little as their dreams are fulfilled through the unselfish gift of the first family as they lovingly place this child into their arms, and to see not just a family created, but to feel the bonds, love, and understanding pour out between these people who days ago were complete strangers.

And to be able to be a part of this all. My heart bursts with gratitude for the opportunity to be a part of something so big and amazing and wonderful!! It aches with pain for all of the loss both couples experience. It wonders at the courage and strength of these good people. It is filled with joy for a newly created family.

Words are seriously inadequate to describe the wonder of this opportunity at this time in my life. I am so grateful to be able to help reach out to our Father's children and walk with them through this journey, and offer bits of support through their grief. I pray that the Spirit will guide me every day so that I can be an effective instrument in His hands to help His children, my brothers and sisters.